So many thoughts.....

I have realized that going back to school is going to be good for me in more ways than one. I know I have only been in class for a week, but in this week with the reading and assignments I have had to do, I have learned a lot about myself. I have decided these next 4 months is going to be a time of self-realization. In reading for my class tonight, there were several "activities" we had to complete. One of these was to list the ways we say unhealthy things to ourselves (the whispering self as my book says) or negative self talk. Here is my list:

1) I'm fat - but I am working on it
2) I'm not good at math (one had to relate to ourselves as a student and this is just true)
3) I attract losers. More like I am a loser magnet - it must be attached to my back. Thinking of having it surgically removed.

Then we also had to list 10 positive things about ourselves. I hate doing things like this because I always feel like I am being conceited. We were allowed to ask others, so I did, and there was also an email circulating today (I'll write about once I get all responses back) that helped me with some of my descriptions.

1) Good sense of humor
2) Caring
3) Positive
4) Friendly
5) Fun-Loving
6) Loyal
7) Trust worthy
8) Dependable
9) Helpful
10) Self - sacrificing (this is good but I have a tendency to make this bad by giving too much of myself....)

The most interesting thing I read about though was the physical reactions to stress. I was reading and start thinking....WOW, I don't remember the last time I had to go to the doctor......hmmmmmmm, maybe there is a connection between me being in and out of the doctor's office for 3 1/2 years and my relationship with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (no not Voldemort). Mom had always said she thought the constant stress I was under during that time was taking a toll on my physical health, but I never thought about it.....Until it wasn't there. I don't have someone making me feel constantly like I am worthless, the most unattractive person in the world, never will succeed at anything, stupid..the list goes on. I DON'T HAVE ANYONE IN MY LIFE WHO TREATS ME LIKE THIS ANYMORE!! Words cannot describe to you the revelation this has been, it has been a lengthy process, but definitely worth it.

Pictures......

OK, pictures are going to have to wait since dial up internet service is evil. And I am so excited cause I just looked at my comments from my Disney announcement post and see that Ragged visited my blog!!! I feel very special and am going to step up the blogging. I love reading Ragged's blog - got connected to her through Emily's blog.....maybe I will add her link...when I get to my much faster work computer.

Dude, where's my blog? :)

Ha, ha, ha - I know it's cheesy, but Emily said something today that made me think of it. Sorry it has been so long (the two people who read my blog). WOW - a lot as happened since the last time I have posted....went to Disney (otherwise known as the vacation from hell), Christmas, New Year's, started school, got A LOT more responsibilities at work, joined the choir at church....the list goes on. Disney itself was absolutely wonderful. I still love it as much as I did when I was a kid. The "atmosphere" of our trip, almost caused me to have a nervous breakdown. Christmas was wonderful. I love Christmas. Spending time with my family makes me so happy - we have such a good time together. Santa visited (I was good this year - see) and I got a new pair of boots I have been wanting, a new bible and a bunch of other stuff. Katie got me a pair of those gaucho pants. I have wanted a pair of these pants for so long but have been so scared to get them because...well, I'm a big girl and have only seen them on skinny girls. But I really do like them a lot - having problems finding the right shirt. New Year's was a lot of fun too. It was the first New Year's in probably 4 years I haven't had anything to drink - and it was great. I had such a good time. I drove down to SC and spent time with my cousins(Gretchen is the other person besides Emily that reads this...) & aunt & uncle. Then New Year's Day went to church with them...saw TOMMY BOWDEN at church. Spent the rest of the day with the family at Ma's. School - well, school is going to be fun - I think. It's only the first week so if I renig on this statement - no one is allowed to hold it against me. I actually like all of my professors, there is going to be a LOT of writing involved for me, so please pray that I keep my sanity. I am going to "try" to keep my blog current...especially since the writing will help me with my classes. I haven't had to just write for fun/educational purposes in FOREVER. I thought my hand was going to fall off Monday night, giving my Expository writing professor a writing sample. That's sad. Very, very sad. But my life revolves around a computer now. I need to start handwriting letters. But then who would I email???? HA HA HA HA. OK, this is it for now - I think. I hope this was a quick enough update........